This was why she never liked the idea of opening up to people. She always ended up in the same situation in every single relationship she’s had. She would either hurt the other or vice versa. Although in whichever situation, she would always be the one who ends up hurting. She’s always had a trouble maintaining relationships. She never understood them. She could never grasp the idea of commitment and relationships, most especially why they were of utmost importance. People always ended up hurting each other, she observed. What good is that? Are humans innately masochistic and sadistic at the same time, that they insist on relationships that hurt? Ruthless, cruel, cold.
She had let her thoughts and emotions mix again. They were never of a good combination. Nothing pleasant came out of it, that she was sure. She sought the sea once more. She sighed, it was one of relief. It was still there, she murmured, the sea is still here. She was running away again. She was hurt. No, not physically; that was such a shallow type of pain. Hers ran deep; deeper than she would like. It wound her from the inside, but she did not bleed. How could she? It was not possible to bleed emotions. But that was where she hurt. She regretted ever opening up to them. They played her like a doll; once broken, is quick to be thrown aside like an insignificant piece of garbage. She cursed herself for letting herself get toyed with, again. Just when she thought she had finally found people to accept her for who, for what, she really was. How naïve, she mused. Her idiocy was clearly extraordinary.
Why entrust your heart to such changeable creatures? They are undeserving of such a gift. The sea, she thought. Entrust your heart to the sea. She turned her head slowly, contemplating on the gravity and repercussions of her decision. She walked slowly toward the waters; she could feel them rise up, apprehensive. Hush now, she murmured. The waves slowly died down in obedience, retreating from the rocky shore back into the sea. Everything had descended into a mere whisper. The waters were silent, the wind died down, her heart slowed; but nothing was still, for anticipation clung to the atmosphere weighing it down. She took a step toward the water. It welcomed her with the gentle lapping of the waves unto her skin. She had decided.
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Submitted by on-writtenspace